As time wears on, I see a lot of couples inadvertently neglecting each other. I briefly touched on this in the introduction of this article, but in order for a marriage to truly thrive, you two need to give attention AND affection to one another. There are so many little ways that you can make your partner feel special and we’ve put together a whole list of romantic things to do that you can read about here. So give your husband or wife attention, and don’t forget to give yourself attention as well! Set aside time to take care of yourself, focus on your passions and hobbies, and actively work towards your personal goals. Maintaining a rewarding personal life is extremely important and a vital element of a successful marriage.
Goals are also important for the couple. Make sure that you and your spouse have common projects that you’re working on, and shared goals. This way, you can strengthen your bond by working as a team. Some examples of things that you can commit to with each other are flipping a house or maybe even starting a garden. Think about what excites you and start working towards making that dream a reality together!
Another important thing to keep in mind is the importance of supporting your spouse in his or her goals and passions. I often see people make their partners feel silly about the things they care about without realizing that this is actually destructive. You two should cheer each other on and if your partner is into something that you don’t quite understand, why not try it out with them one time?
It’s imperative to allow your partner to be themselves and for them to allow you to be yourself. It’s also very important for YOU to allow yourself to be yourself. It will be very hard to become truly happy if you’re denying yourself the right to be who you are.
How to improve your marriage for good
When people come to me and would like help with improving marriage, I always tell them that they should still make time to date each other. Set time aside in your busy schedules for each other and think about doing NEW activities. Try to avoid the usual dinner and a movie date. Think outside of the box so that you can make things feel fresh in the marriage. As time goes on, your relationship with your significant other can begin to feel monotonous and predictable if you don’t work on keeping the flame alive.
You can also work on learning what your partner values and show him or her that you respect these things. This will help your spouse to feel more understood and appreciated by you, which of course will strengthen your bond.
You should also be supporting your partner in their goals without criticizing them! Cheer them on and show your support by making an effort to encourage them.
As this article slowly comes to a close, I want to leave you with one last piece of advice. It’s not any more or less important than the others, but it is something that I really want to talk about with you. One of the absolute best ways to help your marriage is to choose to see the good in your partner. It’s easy to fixate on the things that bug you and make your frustration known to him or her, but I encourage you to focus on the things you love about your partner. I also want to mention the importance of finding appropriate ways to de-stress so you don’t take your frustrations out on your partner. Hit the gym or go for a serious run on a regular basis to release tensions and stress.
Remember why you married them in the first place and celebrate these qualities. Make sure you let your husband or your wife know that you appreciate them and you will start to build a more positive atmosphere.
So to recap, if you’ve been wondering, “How to improve my marriage,” here are the keys to success:
- Nourish your relationship
- Give your partner attention, but also give yourself attention
- Communication is essential
- Have a date night
- Have a common life project
- Give your partner the opportunity to be themselves (and the same goes for you!)
- Support your partner in their passions and goals
- Learn what your spouse values and respect it
- Find appropriate ways to de-stress
- Choose to see the good in your partner
Like I said above, we are here to offer you personalized advice. I know that some of you are thinking that your situation is unique so you need one on one guidance. You can work with us and it would be our pleasure to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way.
Wishing you all the very best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering “How to improve my marriage”