I know that when you’re with a person for a long time, things might begin to feel monotonous and predictable. The passion seems to fizzle out and you can wind up wondering what you can do to make your partner become attracted to you again.
I work with many individuals who contact me for one on one coaching sessions because they’re worried that they’re going to lose their partners.
Because I am asked about how to keep your husband attracted to you so often, I decided to dedicate an article to this topic today. Maintaining a sense of attraction in your relationship is one of the biggest things that can help it withstand the test of time and keep things feeling fun and exciting.
Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of assuming that they don’t need to work on keeping their husbands (or wives) attracted to them once they’re married, and they end up taking their partners for granted. The result, of course, is that their partner ends up feeling dissatisfied in the relationship, which leads to a cornucopia of problems!
Fortunately, that’s not going to happen to you because you’ve already gone out of your way to seek out information that will serve you, reinforce your bond with the one you love, and make your relationship better than ever before.
It’s normal to have ups and downs, but here at Happily Committed, it is our goal to provide you with tips and tools that set you up for longterm success in your love life with the one you love!
A couple of days ago I was working with one of my clients, Alessandra, who had come to me asking about how to keep your husband attracted to you.
She had been with her husband, George, for about seven years and though there wasn’t necessarily any tension between them, there wasn’t really any passion there either.
They didn’t bicker or argue and they weren’t jealous of each other, but she described their relationship like that of two roommates that got along quite well. There was no more intimacy between them and she felt that they had fallen into a rut.
When we first started working together, I remember her saying, “I think I’ve been seeing signs my husband is not attracted to me anymore and I’m afraid that it’s going to ruin our relationship.”
They had two kids together and the fact of the matter was that they started to focus primarily on their children and their jobs, and they completely neglected the romantic element of their relationship. This is why things started to feel platonic.
They were living parallel lives under the same roof but Alessandra was determined to reconnect. In her case, we worked on recalibrating their schedule so that they would carve out one on one time that they would spend with each other, doing NEW things.
I’m going to expand on this a little further down in this article, but Alessandra also had some work to do as an individual.
Because she put so much focus on her kids and on her job, she had inadvertently neglected herself. In addition to working on making things more interesting between her and her husband, we also had to work on helping her restore her sense of self-confidence.
Alessandra needed to feel sexier so she would approach the situation in a different way, and with a boost of self-confidence, her husband began to see her in a different way as well.
Again, I’ll expand on this in a moment, but sometimes these periods that feel a little dull can serve as serious wake-up calls that make you change elements of your relationship that end up making it better than ever before.
In other cases, this type of situation serves as a wake-up call that literally saves the relationship.
Take Robert for example. He and his wife have been married for close to 20 years but unfortunately, they stopped being friends a long long time ago. The attraction between them had nowhere to be found and they, too, were both just coasting through life, focused on their kids, their careers, their friends and their hobbies…
They had completely neglected each other and their marriage. The disconnect was especially apparent every time they went on a vacation as a family because they would fight over trivial things. During our coaching session, Robert realized that he and his wife would fight every time they were forced to spend extended time together. They had built separate realities even though they lived in the same house and slept in the same bed.
They no longer could relate to each other, and their lack of empathy or ability to relate to one another were clear signs that their marriage was over despite the fact that they were still technically together.
We worked together on saving their relationship and a crucial element of this was reintroducing attraction into the mix. The good news is that there are many ways to keep your husband attracted to you, and there are many ways to spark his attraction for you again if you feel that it has faded away.
Let’s look at how!
When it comes to how to seduce your man or keep him interested, you’re in control of more than you might realize. Many people think that they can get their husbands attracted to them again by bending over backwards to make him happy, by doing whatever they can think of to get his attention, and by placing all their focus on their husband…
The solution to the issue at hand is actually a bit different. It’s not all about coming up with sex moves to surprise your man; it’s about making some changes in your personal life as well. The first point I want to go over is arguably the most important element to take into consideration when you want to know how to make your husband more attracted to you.
If you really want to make your husband become attracted to you again or stay attracted to you throughout the length of your relationship, you need to feel attracted to the life you’re living and the person you are.
What does this mean? Well, the key to success here is doing things that make you feel more confident about yourself, more confident about your life, and more in love with the life you’re living!
Think about what elements of your personal life have been placed on the back burner since you’ve gotten into this relationship. What hobbies did you stop making time for? What projects and goals can you start working on again? What friends and family members have you not seen in way too long?
Now is the ideal time to start being strict about penciling these things into your schedule again!
In addition to making time for these people and activities, I highly encourage you to start doing NEW things. Get involved in a new form of exercise like rock climbing or yoga, challenge yourself to learn something new like a language or a skill, make a conscious effort to go out and explore your city so that you can discover new restaurants, galleries, shops, etc.
The more your husband sees that you are enriching your life, the more attractive you become. The more you accomplish, the more confidence you will feel. Accomplishment goes hand in hand with confidence, and confidence goes hand in hand with how attracted your husband is to you.
So I really want to stress the importance of doing things to make your life feel more gratifying for you and you will see a sizable shift in the dynamic between you and your husband. On top of that, the fact that you’ll become busier will give him the opportunity to miss you and become curious about all the interesting things you’ve been doing.
Many times when I’m working with someone in this position, they panic about the prospect of losing their husband so they inadvertently suffocate him. They cling to him and become needy for love and reassurance, but this can quickly prove to be too much for a guy.
Men place a high value on their freedom and independence so when that starts to feel threatened, you will see them start to pull away. That said, they also find independence to be very, very sexy so I encourage you to make a conscious effort to be independent!
Give him space and like I just mentioned, give him the opportunity to miss you. It’s all too easy to take your partner for granted and get bored of the situation if you’re spending every waking moment together. So instead, fill up your schedule and let him have his alone time as well. It will make the time you spend together so much more gratifying.
People often underestimate the power of intimacy without words. The art of attraction and seduction is actually quite subtle and a lot can be communicated through the right touch or the right body language.
This is why I encourage my clients to always be positive and match their partner’s body language. Don’t mime him, but subtly match the placement of his body when you’re talking, look him directly in the eye, and send him nonverbal messages through the way you touch him – even when it’s just placing your hand on the small of his back when you’re walking side by side!
I don’t mean that you have to do things that are blatantly sexual. Just complement all the things that I went over above with nonverbal messages that communicate closeness and connection.
This means that even if you’re just watching TV on the couch together, put your legs in his lap or put your head on his shoulder.
When two people are together for a long time it’s not uncommon for sex to start to take up less space in the relationship which can lead to a person feeling undesired by his or her partner.
I encourage you to always take care of yourself physically so that you feel and look your best, and think of ways to freshen things up. For example, buy new lingerie to surprise him with! Book a hotel room for a night for a romantic getaway from your day-to-day lives, start to explore some new elements in the bedroom like role play or even toys.
When someone comes to me asking about what to do when your husband doesn’t want you sexually, I cannot stress the importance of innovation enough. Keeping things feeling fresh and new is your biggest ally!
You know your husband better than anyone which means that you know how to surprise him! Surprise is one of the absolute best ways to spice things up and keep things interesting in your relationship.
If you wanna take it a step further and really boost the attraction between you and the one you love, I encourage you to check out our new product specifically designed to help you do this!
Another important point I wanted to talk about is the role a positive environment plays when you want to keep your husband attracted to you. It’s all too easy to complain or nag if things aren’t feeling gratifying at the moment, but that’s just going to push him away.
Instead, focus on making yourself happy and feeling desirable, and think about avoiding complaining, drama, and negativity.
It’s very important to develop your ability to relate and empathize, and one of the best things you can do is to create a safe space for him to communicate with you if there are any problems. Don’t judge or backbite, and don’t talk badly about others.
Really focus on cultivating a positive environment in your relationship and it will help to reinforce your bond. When the complicity is solid between you, it becomes infinitely easier to keep your husband interested and attracted to you!
Work on building him up and being there for him. Don’t say hurtful things when you’re arguing and prioritize solutions.
The bond between you and the one you love does not have to be threatened. All you have to do is work on thinking outside the box to keep things fresh and exciting, and make sure that you don’t give in to the monotony of the routine.
If you can incorporate the tips and tools I’ve gone over in this relationship and really work on keeping your husband attracted to you by actively becoming the best version of yourself, you’ll see a huge shift. When you pair that with surprising him and incorporating new elements into your relationship, things will only continue to improve.
I know that each and every relationship is unique and you might have some questions about how to adapt these tools to your specific situation and attract your husband, so please don’t hesitate to reach out. Join the Happily Committed Project and transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way.
To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here. We can work with you to give you tailor-made advice that will revamp the romance between you and the one you love.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to keep your husband attracted to you
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