As a love and relationship coach, I hear these words far too often. So many people come to me and ask if it is time to move on from their relationship or if they should keep trying.
Here at Happily Committed we specialize in helping people find true happiness in love, whether that means healing a broken relationship or moving on from one. I have seen all kinds of different types of situations, and I know that you are probably not in a good place if you’re asking yourself this question.
There are some situations in which a person would find much more happiness in their life if they were to move on from the relationship, and I wanted to write this article to help you analyze your situation.
Even the toughest decisions become easy when you have enough information, so hats off to you for facing this issue and seeking out advice. It’s so much easier to just turn a blind eye and try to sweet these issues under the rug, but as you can imagine, that will not give you any longterm results.
By the time you reach the end of this article, you will have a much better idea of what needs to happen next, and you’ll be on the path towards a much happier future. So without further ado, let’s take a look.
Is it time to move on from a relationship?
To give you a little backstory, we have created Happily Committed to help couples and individuals create the relationships that they want. We have pooled our resources to provide you with tips and tools that enable you to coach yourself at home via our articles, our YouTube Channel, and our programs.
We know that oftentimes, a relationship can actually become stronger than ever through a crisis. It can be an opportunity to deepen, strengthen, and renew your love, but unfortunately, that is not a one-size-fits-all type of thing. Though we specialize in transforming situations so that people can be happy in love, there are some instances when it’s time to move on from a relationship.
It can be the most wonderful blessing in disguise that allows you to move on and find the right person for you. Someone with whom you can work towards the same goals, someone that you can share your life project with… It’s an opportunity to find a person that shares the same values that you do, maybe even the person you end up building a family with!
When to move on from a relationship: 3 tips
To help you get a clear picture of the situation, I have some pointers I want to go over with you. I want to explore 3 signs that the time has come to move on from a relationship.
As I was saying in the introduction to this article, the more information you have, the easier it is to make a choice. I know how paralyzing it can feel when you’re unsure, and that uncertainty goes away once you have properly analyzed the situation.
In many of the cases I encounter, the people I work with feel very broken. They are struggling with questions like, “How to move on from a bad relationship,” “How to move on from a long term relationship,” or even, “How to move on from a narcissist relationship.”
They feel worn down by the entire situation, and if you’re reading this right now, perhaps you feel the same way. And that is okay! It can be an extremely draining situation to have to deal with, but let me tell you this. I have seen some of the most broken people turn into some of the most confident and happiest people I know! These are the types of experiences that help us evolve and become the new and improved versions of ourselves.
So at the end of the day, moving on from a relationship is always an opportunity.
The importance of no regrets when moving on from a relationship
This is probably the biggest one, so I want to start with it. If you can honestly say that you have done every single thing in your power to save this relationship and it’s still showing no signs of improvement, then it is probably best to move on. One person cannot make a relationship work.
It is always going to be a two-person job and both of you need to actively work on it if you want to sustain it over time. I know that many people often remain in a relationship because they fixate on the relationship’s potential, and they think it would be such a shame to throw it all away.
But the fact of the matter remains that even if you have been together for many months or years, and you have tried everything you possibly could and this person is not willing to make an effort, or you sense that no matter what you try, it never seems to work, it’s probably time to turn the page.
Contempt: Time to move on
If you or your partner look at each other with disgust or contempt, and it has been like this for a while, it could mean that this relationship has run its course. You cannot be with someone who has no regard for who you are and what you have to offer (and vice versa). The relationship will not work if you two aren’t treating each other with love and respect. Sadly, this is a pattern that I have seen over the years. When a relationship starts to go bad, people stop seeing the good in their partners. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and if one or both of you are longer treating the other well, it’s time to move on from a relationship.
That fear of moving on might be very present in your mind, but I want you to keep reminding yourself that incredible things are waiting for you on the other side.
I want the best in life for you, so I don’t want you to feel trapped in a relationship with someone who does not treasure you, someone who is a narcissist, or someone who only focuses on themselves. If you feel extremely undervalued and/or if you’re feeling the same way about your significant other, it’s a good idea to start thinking about how to move on from a relationship.
How to move on from a serious relationship with peace of mind
There are other elements to keep in mind when you’re thinking about knowing when to move on from a relationship. If you feel like you’ve had to sacrifice your family, your friends, who you are as a person, and even your values, all to make your partner happy and you find that it still isn’t enough, then it’s time to think about moving on from the relationship. By the way, this is extremely controlling behavior and clear boundaries need to be set. If this type of thing gets out of hand, you might end up in a situation where you’re wondering how to move on from a toxic relationship.
Another thing to bear in mind is a sense of unbalance. Do you feel like your partner is unable to stop putting their needs in front of yours? Does it feel like it doesn’t matter that you try to communicate and build a healthier relationship with a better foundation? If you feel that their happiness always comes at your expense and that only one person exists in this relationship, then it’s a clear sign that you should start thinking about moving on.
The blame game is another indicator that it’s time to let go. It is not uncommon for people to argue and disagree in a relationship, and it’s easier to blame someone else than to accept that we may be in the wrong, but if neither of you can take accountability for your actions and incessantly blame the other, there is a problem.
Last but not least, one more thing to keep in mind when you’re trying to find the answer to this question is this: Are either of you willing to change? I can tell you right now that if neither of you is willing to put in the work to change and fix this relationship, then it’s not going to work. A relationship requires maintenance from both sides and if you’re seeing the blame game, or if either of you thinks that the other is the only one with issues, it’s time to think about turning the page. It is impossible for a relationship to work if the two partners are not actively trying to do their part to make it work.
We do not take separation or divorce lightly. Our whole philosophy is based on helping to make sure that people are happy together so we leave no stone unturned, but in some cases, moving on from a relationship is the only way. So let’s take a look at how to move on from a relationship.
How to move on from a serious relationship with grace
I know how hard it can be to bring yourself to let go of a relationship because the love is still present. I am also sure that you’ve heard the saying, “If you love them, let them go,” right? It can be a hard concept to wrap your head around, but it can be a message of self-empowerment, happiness, and detachment.
Let me explain. The feelings of love are closely linked to the feeling of control. In fact, they’re closely linked to the feeling of being out of control. So the more out of control you feel in love, the more likely it is that you are experiencing intense feelings of being in love. So when you’re faced with a breakup that you don’t necessarily want, the feelings of love are actually amplified. It feels overwhelming because you don’t feel like you’re in control.
It’s really interesting because I have worked with so many individuals who have contacted me because they wanted to know how to break up with their partners and how to move on from a long term relationship, but when their partner beat them to the punch and pulled the plug on the relationship, they wound up feeling devastated. They ended up feeling like they needed to be with this person in order to be happy, that they were the love of their lives, and that being without them was the worst thing in the world. It’s not rational, it’s entirely emotional. It’s all about losing control and overvaluing what we lost. It’s just an element of human nature.
So if you want to know how to move on from a relationship, the best way to do so is to focus on the bigger picture and all of the new doors that are suddenly opening for you. And here is where letting go of someone if you love them comes into play. You have got to detach from wanting to control the outcome at all costs and switch your focus to yourself. This way you don’t fall into the trap of desperation.
The truth is that most often, people don’t value themselves enough and the love they have for another person becomes so overwhelming that it winds up being suffocating and draining. But here is what’s great. You are actually in control of the outcome. If you want to move on from this relationship and find peace and wellbeing, and a more meaningful relationship, nothing is stopping you!
We have actually created a special program to help you move on and transform your life into something better than ever before. It offers you in-depth solutions that will help you to move past this painful period, and say hello to a deeply fulfilling love life.
As this article comes to an end, remember that these are the things to keep an eye out for if you’re considering moving on from a relationship:
1. If you left now, would you have regrets and think that you didn’t try everything?
2. Do you look at each other with contempt or disgust?
3. Have you had to sacrifice a lot and does it still seem like it’s not enough?
4. Does your partner’s happiness come at your expense?
5. Is either of you unwilling to change?
We are here to help you every step of the way, so please don’t hesitate to reach out by clicking here. It would be our pleasure to guide you from A to Z.
I sincerely wish you the best,
Your coach when you are thinking about when to move on from a relationship