The main thing to keep in mind as we venture into this section is that love takes time to develop. It has a lot to do with how much you get to know a person, see how they operate, learn about their passions, learn about how they treat you, and how it feels to spend your time with them. When you develop a crush on someone, it feels more like infatuation. It’s exciting and it is often the result of learning that you two share a lot of things in common. You might have moments where you feel like you keep discovering things about each other that are similar. For example, you have the same taste in music, you share a hobby, or you both enjoy going to the same kinds of events. There is an element of fun and play when you’re crushing on someone, but the feeling starts to evolve a bit when it comes to love.
Crushes involve an adrenaline rush that can make your heart pound when you’re around this person. Love, on the other hand, is a feeling that arrives much slower. It can even sneak up on you without you realizing it! A simple way to look at it is to think about this: A crush carries with it is a sense of insecurity but love comes from a place of safety. Love develops once you have moved past the details about your likes, your humor, and all the superficial elements of your connection. Love develops when you start sharing the deepest parts of your personality, your past, your fears, your desires…
Love comes into the picture when you have truly opened up your heart and your mind, and have let each other see deep inside. Love develops when you’ve started becoming more vulnerable with one another, but only because it feels safe to do so. When love is there, it means that trust has been established. A crush can leave you feeling insecure and make you wonder if this person has similar feelings for you or not, it can make you feel inferior to others in the eyes of your partner… Love is built on trust and when you’re in love, your partner makes you feel safe, accepted, and cherished. In other words, love is a safe place.
It is something that allows you to let go of your fears and feel loved for who you are, but a crush is something that leaves a lot of space for insecurity. So keep this in mind when you’re wondering “how to know you love someone.
Another indicator to look out for is how new this feeling feels. Love is something that feels familiar to you, and a crush feels like something brand new. As you get to know someone, your bond becomes deeper, you get to know each other better, and things start to feel more familiar. It can be compared to what you feel like when you’re with your best friend.
As we dive deeper into the topic of determining whether the feelings you have for a person are love or something else, let me give you some helpful questions that you can ask yourself. By doing so, you will have a better idea of where these feelings are stemming from, and whether it’s love, lust, or an infatuation.
First, ask yourself what it is that you like about this person? Is it that you find them incredibly attractive? Lust is when you’re interested in a person sexually, infatuation is when you think they’re really interesting, and love is when you appreciate the innermost parts that make them who they are.
Next, take a moment to assess how you feel when you think about this person. Do you feel obsessed with them? It might surprise you to learn that this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re in love with them. There is a famous saying by Monica Drake about how Buddhists view love, and I have always loved it.
“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”
This illustrates my point about love feeling like a safe place for your heart. When you’re on edge, nervous with sweaty palms, then you most likely that not reached the love realm yet. Again, this doesn’t mean you won’t get there, but it is helpful to be able to tell the difference.
It’s also important to consider whether or not you are open to doing the hard work that a relationship entails. During the infatuation stage, a person will see everything through rose-tinted glasses, and this is a wonderful period, but in reality, a relationship involves difficult conversations and overcoming challenges together. Lust or infatuation keeps the relationship at a superficial level, or at an “ideal” level. So, pay attention to how you feel about this person’s flaws. No one is perfect, no matter how wonderful a person might seem! We are all human beings who come with our own set of qualities and flaws. How do you feel about your partner’s? Lust or infatuation will make you lose interest when you start discovering this person’s flaws, but love will make you accept them as part of what makes them so special.
When you’re wondering about “How to know I love someone,” I also encourage you to take a look at how the relationship has developed. Does it feel like things are getting better over time, or was it incredibly exciting in the beginning but not so inspiring now? Once love is present, the relationship starts to feel more rewarding on a deeper level. It is still exciting, but it doesn’t feel like your heart is about to explode out of your chest.