When a person reaches out to me for help with bringing more romance into their relationship, I am always so happy. Many, many people come to us for help when their relationship is on the brink of a breakup or a divorce, so when a person thinks ahead and wants to learn how to keep their relationship strong, it means that they’re setting themselves up for success.
Romance is an essential element of a strong relationship, and this is something that very many people don’t realize.
They know that things are super romantic and fun at the beginning of a relationship, but when that romance starts to fade, they assume that it’s just a normal part of a developing relationship.
Here’s the thing. It is normal for a relationship to change and evolve, but that doesn’t mean that the romance should be neglected. When it is, the two people who were once madly in love can start to drift apart.
Fortunately, that isn’t going to happen to you because you have already made the conscious choice to seek out this article and learn the tips and tools you need to keep your relationship safe.
In today’s article, I am going to go over what it means to be romantic in your relationship, how to be a romantic husband, how to make your partner feel cherished, and how to reinforce your relationship. So without further ado, let’s dive right in, shall we?
As we start things off, I want to take a moment to clarify a very important element of what it means to be a romantic husband. We know that romance goes hand in hand with sweet and thoughtful gestures, affection, gifts, and love. We often forget, however, that romance goes much deeper than the stereotypical “acts of romance.”
An enormous element of romance has to do with cultivating a relationship with your significant other in which they feel understood and cherished. This is where the pillars of healthy relationships come into play.
The more you cultivate the foundation of your relationship, the easier it is to bring more romance into the picture. Plus, it makes your romantic gestures that much more powerful. So, what elements am I talking about here?
Well, the first pillar is unconditional love. It’s important to accept one another for all your qualities and for all of your flaws. Don’t try to change who your significant other is, and practice loving them for the person that they are. This can become a great source of romance. Not doing so can led to a confrontational, tense, and combative relationship.
Next, and this will come as no surprise, we have communication. We have written a gigantic article on the art of proper communication and I highly encourage you to read it by clicking here, but for our intents and purposes, I want to bring your attention to recognizing the appropriate time to talk about conflict.
By learning the art of having productive conversations whenever you have disagreements, you can create an atmosphere in your relationship that makes both of you feel safe and understood. You will learn the techniques for this in the article I mentioned.
To quickly summarize for you, the best time to talk about relationship problems is when emotions aren’t running high, because picking the wrong time to talk about them can hurt your relationship in the long run.
We also need to think about the small gestures that really charm your partner’s heart because this is where we start to hone in on how to be a more romantic husband. Emotional nourishment and a sense of romance can really open up your partner’s heart, especially if you express this love in your partner’s love language.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with love languages, there are five and each person communicates love through one of them. Understanding a person’s love language will teach you how to show them love in the way that resonates with them the most. But I am getting ahead of myself here! I will expand on this in a moment.
Another element of romance that people don’t think about is freedom. It’s important to feel free to be yourself and to give your partner the freedom to be themselves, as well. Both of you should dedicate time and energy to your own goals and aim to find fulfillment outside of the relationship.
When you are able to spend time on your own projects, goals and actives, the time to spend together becomes much more meaningful.
Not to mention the fact that it makes it easier to have interesting things to share with one another when you’re spending some time together! Believe me when I tell you that couples that are able to find fulfillment in their personal lives, outside of their relationships, have a much longer success track record than those that don’t!
Now, I know you’re probably impatient to learn about the concrete tips I have for you on how to be a romantic husband!
Let’s talk about those Love Languages again. These are truly the most valuable bits of information that you could have when you are working on preserving or bringing back a sense of romance to your relationship! AS I mentioned, there are five of them.
When a person’s love language is “words of affirmation,” it means that he or she expresses and receives love is through speech. For example, this could be when a person enjoys talking about their emotions, talking about future plans, special memories, and love in general.
They would resonate with hand-written letters as gestures of love, for example. And, this will come as no surprise, but the words “I love you” are incredibly important to them.
If a person’s love language is “acts of service,” it means that they show love through gestures. For example, they would go out of their way to do something nice for you, or something that they know would make you smile. Sometimes a person whose love language is words of affirmation will have a partner whose love language is acts of service, and they might feel like they aren’t being shown love.
It’s simply because they are speaking to each other in two different (love) languages and where one is showing love through words, the other is showing love through actions. It is therefore very important to become aware of your partner’s love language so that you can understand how they are showing you love and how they need to be loved!
The third love language is about gifts, and this is when a person communicates love through items that symbolize love. It’s not about expensive or lavish gifts – it’s about thoughtful gifts that show a person that their partner cares. If your partner values this love language the most then you will see that they truly enjoy the careful selection process, the thought that goes into it, and the moment that the gift is given.
Quality time is pretty straight forward and it just means that a person really values spending meaningful moments with the person they love most. For example, uninterrupted and focused conversations during which you are able to truly share with one another. Physical touch is also very straight forward, but it’s not just about sex. It’s about signs of affection that include hugs, caresses, kisses, holding hands, and cuddling, as well.
The more you pay attention to your spouse’s love language, the better. If you are unsure of what their love language might be, then don’t hesitate to have a conversation about it! These are very healthy things to talk about that can give you great insight into how to love each other better. As I said, the more information you have and the better foundation you build, the easier it becomes to bring more romance into the relationship!
I worked with a client not that long ago who came to me because he had come to understand that he and his wife had lost their connection. Initially, he wanted to know how to reignite their relationship and as we began working together, we started zeroing in on the fact that the element of romance had been missing from their relationship for an incredibly long period of time.
Tim, my client, had been living under the same roof as his wife as though they were roommates. They had completely lost track of each other, the fun, the excitement, their connection… And they were entirely focused on their jobs and their responsibilities.
I cannot stress the importance of balance enough. Though it is essential to cultivate your personal life and projects outside of your relationship, you must never neglect the relationship itself! If you do, you will allow a great divide to settle in between you and your significant other. This, unfortunately, is a very common phenomenon. People settle into relationships, and then they stop making an effort to keep things exciting between them.
Without realizing it, they start putting their relationship on the back burner, and the longer they spend neglecting it, the more distant they feel from their partner.
In Tim’s case, the disconnect between him and his wife was especially apparent whenever they wound up alone together. They were constantly fighting, even about the most trivial things, and he expressed to me that it was really difficult for him to remember what things were like before they were so tense. In the pit of his stomach he knew that they had fallen out of love, and he needed to figure out what to do about it fast.
So it was time to open lay out a new foundation and open the door to romance! We needed them to rediscover each other so that they could fall back in love. First we needed to work on communication so that they would stop feeling so disconnected from one another, then we needed to bring new activities into their life. Once we worked on repairing the cracks in the foundation of their relationship, we started to focus on romance with the tools that I am going to go over in the next section of this article.
If you are struggling with tensions in your relationship and are hoping that romance can bring you and your significant other closer together, I highly encourage you to reach out for one on one coaching.
That way, we can ask you specific questions that will help us to design the ideal plan of action. Once all of that is in motion, we can start to work on the romantic gestures that I will go over in the next section! To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
Alright, now it’s time for the good stuff. How to be a romantic husband for your significant other. It is all going to start with learning how to listen to them. This way, you can really zero in on their love language, what makes the tick, and how you could surprise them – all of which are important components of romance.
Make sure you connect with the one you love so that you can learn their likes and dislikes, so that you can make them feel understood, and give them your full attention. Showing someone that you are 100% present and interested in what they are telling you is very sexy and can bring you much closer.
It’s one of those little things that often go overlooked. For example, you’re on your phone while your spouse is talking to you, or, you’re playing video games while they’re telling you something… This can make a person feel like your attention is elsewhere, or at least that they’re only getting a portion of it. When this happens over and over again, it becomes dangerously easy to start to feel disconnected.
Once you learn more about what your partner’s interests are, you can plan something that you know they will like. For example, you can make a regular night into something special by cooking a meal you know they really like, followed by a bubble bath. It really doesn’t need to be anything over the top! Don’t make the mistake of assuming that romance means grandiose gestures. It’s not about bringing big huge gestures into your relationship to make it feel special; it’s about making even the little things feel special every single day.
A good way to do this is to bring an element of spontaneity into the mix. You know your significant other better than anyone, so that means you also know how to surprise them! People love to be surprised by something romantic. There is something so charming about having something done for you that you weren’t expecting. Again, this doesn’t need to be anything over the top. You can bring home flowers, perhaps plan a weekend getaway, or buy something that they’ve had their eye on for a while.
When a person asks “How to be romantic as a husband“, we can’t forget the element of physical touch. Even little things like placing your hand on the small of their back or holding their hand as you walk side by side can make them feel special and loved. Massages, kisses, cuddles, and tactility are all important components of romance, and sex, of course, is as well. From time to time, set aside some time for yourselves to have a romantic evening. It’s even better if this comes as a surprise for your significant other. Try to think outside the box here. The roses on the bed and the candles are all great, but those are things that can start to feel a bit cliché.
Remember, the more special the experience can feel, and the more thought you put into it, the more romantic it will be for your spouse. Thoughtfulness is your key to success here!
If you feel that the romance is dying out in your marriage, or is altogether gone, don’t panic. The truth is that there are silver linings here. Sometimes, these challenging moments serve as blessings in disguise because they give your marriage the little electroshock that it needed. It can serve as a catalyst for very positive change. When you realize that your marriage is suffering because the romance is fizzling out, you realize how much a person means to you and what you’re willing to do to keep them and make them happy. This is when you start to do things that can completely transform the relationship and set it up for long term success!
So if right now, your marriage feels like it is lacking in the romance department, you have to lay out a new foundation. You want the marriage to have a solid base so that romance can naturally be present. The key then will be to make things start feeling fresh again. The solution to that lies in stepping out of the routine and doing things that make your marriage feel fun and exciting again.
I encourage you to think outside the box, work on really surprising your significant other, and show them that you’re thinking of ways to make them feel special, and ways keep things feeling new. Innovation is going to be your best friend right now.
As I said, you don’t need to spend large sums of money on luxurious gifts or grandiose gestures all the time to bring the romance back, but you do need to show her that you went out of your way to plan something enjoyable for her. Show her that you want her to know that she’s special to you.
Always think about how you can create lasting memories and it will increase the romance between you and in your relationship. The closer you feel, the more romantic things will feel.
In addition to all of this, make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and that you ensure that your sense of self confidence is solid. Allocate ample time to self-care (both physical and mental!) Hit the gym, present yourself well, and value yourself. Not only will this make you feel great, it will make your significant other all the more attracted to you.
We are here to help you every step of the way! Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way. As a team of dedicated love and relationship coaches, we are here to accompany you from A to Z.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to be a romantic husband
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